Three Ways to Support Yourself

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Do you criticize yourself when  learning a new skill?

Are you guilty of picking out all the things that went wrong after a meeting, performance, lesson, or new experience?

Have you considered SUPPORTING yourself instead?

All of our children (we have three) have learned musical instruments.  All talented in their own way.  One is very relaxed about his approach.  Sees the good in every performance.  One is in the middle, did her best, maybe saw how she could have done better, but moved on pretty quickly.  The other, beat herself up for every little mistake, every note slightly off pitch, every little hiccup.  A stickler for excellence but also often sabotaged her efforts before she began.

Now she’s trading in sabotage for support.

Learning the spiritual laws of “alignment” will support the learning process and the magic that accompanies excellence.

Alignment means ‘joining up’ with the true energy of any moment.

The highest possible outcome.

The pure positive energy from which we come.

After all, every cell in your body is pure positive energy.

Lining up with that energy changes everything.

Three ways to Reinforce your Learning and Support your Efforts:

  1. Express gratitude for what you’re doing right.  After a performance or practise search out at least three things you truly appreciate about your efforts.
  2. Visualize how you want things to be. After appreciating what went right you might see things you’d like to improve.  Now take the time to visualize yourself improving those elements.
  3. Sit in stillness – meditate every day.  Basically simply sit in stillness and breathe for a few minutes every day. This one is a so big! Lining up with the  pure positive energy  that you are also lines you up with pure positive thinking, pure positive emotions, and pure positive outcomes.

 

Are you learning something new?

Begin supporting yourself.

Try the three methods above – Gratitude, Visualization, Meditation.

Let me know how it turns out!

With love,

Veronica

www.veronicaconnnors.com

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What Delights You? What Seeps into Your Consciousness even after you push it away?

I’m coming to the end of a very long and mostly uphill climb.

Writing a book.

It’s called Soul Steps:52 Ways to Reconnect with Spirit.

I think it was in 2009 that I first invited two friends and colleagues to join a writing project with me.

Although I’ve known this to be an important goal that required completion, it’s been very tedious at times.

A very long journey!

One requiring much patience, respect, open hearted communication, humility, tenacity, education, endurance, love, and ultimately so much growth along the way.

We are on the final stages of the layout now as the last edits sit with the publisher. (Pssst… secret … there are no FINAL edits! Writers are never satisfied with their work.)

There were moments when I didn’t know how it would be completed.

Times when I didn’t even want to look at it.

Even a few years where it lay dormant. Untouched.

But something in me knew this was a project that required my devotion.

Even during those dormant years it crept into my consciousness, calling me back to it’s purpose.

No matter how much patience it took, no matter how many rocks in the road, no matter what shade the nay sayers threw my way, I knew deep down it was part of my path.

Do you have something niggling at you like that?

Do you have a desire to complete a course of study, a secret project, a special hobby? To start a business, learn a skill, go on a journey?

Are you harbouring a message from your inner knowing that has a way of seeping into your consciousness?  A little candle burning in the window for when you come home?

Trust that your Spirit has your back. It knows where you’re headed. Whatever “It” is, it will keep coming back to you time and time again to get your attention. To nudge you forward.  Maybe it’s part of your purpose. Maybe it’s your joy. Maybe it’s both.

Here’s an excerpt from the workbook section in Soul Steps on listening to your Spirit:

“The noise associated with fear is what keeps most of us from moving forward. Where are you allowing this noise to shout over the calm messages from spirit?  Can you let go of this fearful voice in pursuit of growth and happiness? Don’t trample your desire to move out of darkness with fearful thoughts. Move lightly towards them. Realize that any thoughts that feed your fear are from the ego. The ego is hurried, loud, and dramatic. The Spirit is consistent, kind, and calm. Let your Spirit sit in the driver’s seat and watch for signs in repeated positive thoughts, in softer words, and in an impulse towards uplifting and inspired action. Only move towards what feels loving and delightful to you. Finish these sentences: If I wasn’t afraid I would … If I acted from love I would … The most delightful thing to do is …”

So what’s niggling at you?

What’s trying to get your attention?

I know that writing is something that delights me, despite its obstacles and blemishes.

If you could do anything (and you can), what’s the most delightful thing you would do?

With Love, Veronica

 

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Veronica Connors B.Ed, M.Ed, CSLC

http://www.veroincaconnors.com

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Happy Cancerversary!?

Happy Cancerversary.

It’s not something I ever thought I’d be saying to my daughter at the age of 15.

It’s not something I’m even sure how to express.

But we have celebrated her cancerversary for the past three years and each year it means something different.

This week was Grace’s third cancerversary, and again we attempt to honour her journey through Leukemia.

Three years ago we moved into an altered state of existence and I feel like we are just beginning to  wake up!

Just starting to live more fully again.  Just starting to breathe more deeply.

To relax into the possibility that everything will be ok.

Cancerversary #1

Still struggling with the disease.  Still struggling with fear and the heartbreak of not knowing.

Chocolate cake to celebrate.

Grace and her brother Harry, had a taste and then beat it up – smashed it to pieces.

Wrestling with what was going on, with a dash of “We’ll beat this” thrown in.

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Cancerversary #2

Still struggling to reach a stable response.

Sad and fearful at times.

Not knowing when things would become “normal” again.

That year, we ate the cake!

A pensive moment beforehand.

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Cancerveresary #3

At “Light it up Pink at Marble.”

A good way to support others fighting cancer.

Mostly a meaningful way to mark Grace’s journey at Year 3.

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A moment of release.

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Hopefully for good.

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Some things we learned along the way:

Do the most important thing in front of you at the time.

That might just be putting one foot in front of the other.

Next, move the other foot.

Crisis instantly brings an opportunity for acceptance.

There’s always a choice.

Accepting the unacceptable is a gift you give yourself.

When things get really scary, take a breath and remember the big picture.

Basically there is only love.

Love each other.

Love yourself.

Pour some more love into the situation.

The next time you find yourself faced with crisis, fear, anger, torment, and suffering.

Try not to push it away or keep it at bay.

Walk towards it.

Explore the fear.

Move deeply into it.

Sit beside the suffering.

As Pema Chodron said, “Right down there in the thick of things, we discover the love that will not die.”

With Love,

Veronica

Veronica Connors, B.Ed., M.Ed., CSLC

Author, Spiritual Life Coach, Self Mastery Teacher

www.veronicaconnors.com

veronica.connors@nf.sympatico.ca

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Women Nurturing Women

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Tuesday Feb. 13th  a group of women came together for a yoga/meditation evening. In fact is was a group of co-workers.

Myself and two yoga teachers and friends put the session up for auction to help raise money for the high school band and a very thoughtful woman purchased the auction item for herself and her co-workers.

We had a wonderful evening.

A full hour of nurturing our bodies, mind, and soul with yoga and relaxation and then 45 minutes of meditation and spiritual conversation.

Afterwords the ladies had a spa evening at Marble Inn and the three instructors had a delicious meal at Madison’s fine dining restaurant.

Things that stood out during the evening:

Caring co-workers comes to mind.  These women really wanted to take care of themselves and each other.

Some  said it was the first time they had ever taken the time to do something like this for themselves.

We had some light moments of big belly laughter and some vulnerable moments of sharing after meditation.

THE TAKE AWAY:

Self Care is the first line of treatment for a fully lived life.

It involves nurturing your physical, mental, emotional, & spiritual self.

Women are nurturers.

Women need to be nurtured.

It starts with taking the time to nurture yourself.

With love,

Veronica

PS – We are planning another evening like this!

Includes yoga, mediation, and swim or sauna.

Maximum of 10 people

email: veronica.connors@nf.sympatico.ca

 

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Did you have a Happy Valentine’s Day?

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So Valentine’s Day was yesterday.

Saint Valentine married people who were being shunned in his society. Sweet!

Many of us still celebrate his devotion to love by trying to show our loved ones how much we appreciate them on Valentine’s Day.  Not always an easy thing, right? Sometimes we get it right and some times we get it so wrong!

Now our puppy Ori – she’s pretty ease to please.  Showing her love is not very complicated.  She loves belly rubs, to run along side us when we bike, her favourite toys – lamby, hedgehog, and squirrel.  She loves frozen pb treats and digging in the snow and laying in any puddles of water she can find.  She also loves getting her picture taken.

It’s so easy to show her love because her language of love is very easy to understand.  Just look how happy she is posing for this pic.

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People can be a little more challenging to love than our pets.  Not because they are less loveable but because we humans have different languages of love.  Gary Chapman in his book The 5 Love Languages can help you figure it out.

One thing I’ve learned as a Spiritual Teacher is that our basic need is to be validated. But the tricky part is figuring out how those in your life feel validation. In other words, what are their languages of love?

Dr. Chapman’s background is in the area of anthropology and linguistics. He studied many languages and how to communicate beyond language. He realized that to communicate effectively we must learn the language of those we communicate with. After 30 years of marriage counselling, Dr. Chapman realized the same was true for marriages.  He discovered that each person had their own way of feeling loved. “Your emotional love language and the language of your spouse may be as different as Chinese from English.”  It gets a lot easier to “LOVE” your partner when you understand their love language.

There are 5 languages of Love:

Words of Affirmation

Quality Time

Receiving Gifts

Acts of Service

Physical Touch

If your partner’s language is primarily words of affirmation then compliments, hearing “I love you”, or a good ole fashioned love letter on valentine’s may please her more than the elaborate night out you plan every year.

You can take a test to find out your language of love. Better still ask your partner to take the test too.  Usually you have a combination of the five languages of love. One or two will stand out.

Seldom do partners have the same love language and we often try to give our spouse the gifts we wish we were receiving ourselves.  But perhaps it’s time to learn your partner’s secondary and maybe even primary language.   Speaking his emotional language can help bring those loving feelings to the forefront of your day, everyday, helping you create a long-lasting and satisfying relationship.

Maybe you’ll look forward to the next Valentine’s Day because you’ll know just how to show your partner how much they are loved. Maybe you’ll look forward to tomorrow because you are better equipped to create those lovable moments.

Take the Test

Happy Heart Day!

Veronica

B.Ed, M.Ed, CSLC

Spiritual Life Coach, Author, Self Mastery Teacher

www.veronicaconnors.com

veronica.connors@nf.sympatico.ca

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Creating Space for Peace

 

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Today was the last day for a 10 week meditation class with a group of truly wonderful women from the West Coast of Newfoundland.

It’s always interesting to see who comes together for a class and what each person hopes to achieve for themselves.

One thing we all have in common at the end of each class is that we learn to create more space for peace in our lives.

Space to breathe.

Space to observe.

Space to quite our inner turmoil.

Space to see we are Not the drama, we are Not the chaos, we are Not the pain, we are Not the upset, we are Not the sadness.

We are bigger than all of that.

We can learn to return to our natural state of peace when we simultaneously cognize and intuit this on a deeper level.

Ah … peace.

When you learn to create it from the inside out you know…

It’s a possibility.

It’s a probability.

And you have all the power.

Veronica

Author, Spiritual Life Coach, Teacher

www.veronicaconnors.com

email: veronica.connors@nf.sympatico.ca

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Wouldn’t It Be Nice If …

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The Beach Boy’s sang the words “Wouldn’t It Be Nice If … we were older and didn’t have to wait so long.”  Or “wouldn’t it be nice if we could live in the kind of world where we belong.”

They were on to something beautiful.

They knew how to dream and use their imagination to see their lives a little nicer.

Spiritual Teachers Abraham -Hicks use the phrase “Wouldn’t it be nice if … ” to help others reach for a better feeling place and to create something different in their lives.

I LOVE this technique for the ease of shifting the mind.

A better feeling place is where your power resides.

Have you ever gotten anywhere from feeling hopeless?

Have you ever produced what you wanted when you felt this way?

Not likely.

So instead of focusing on the hopelessness of what’s in front of you.

Dream up something better.

Every thing you see that’s good in this world was first an idea before it came into fruition.

When you focus on your ideas often enough that they start to FEEL real , then you are getting close to creating the essence of that idea.

So start here.

Wouldn’t it be nice if …

  • I ate healthier food
  • My body was stronger
  • My health was better than yesterday.
  • I could pay just one bill.
  • I could pay all my bills.
  • I had money in the bank.
  • I could share wealth with others.
  • I felt like I belonged
  • I did what was right for me.
  • My relationships were more loving.
  • I didn’t hold on to that grudge.
  • I thought happier thoughts.
  • I laughed more.
  • I added to the peace of the world.
  • My family played more games.
  • I could travel with family and friends.
  • I found the perfect job for me.
  • We all loved each other more.

Now make up your own.

Wouldn’t it be nice if …

www.veronicaconnors.com

Veronica Connors, B.Ed., M.Ed., CSLC

Spiritual Life Coach

Author, Soul Steps: 52 Ways to Reconnect with Spirit 

Self Mastery Teacher

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IS IT TRUE?

 

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Well, I’ve been thinking of the essence of this work.

Trying to capture what clients need when we’re together.

It’s almost always to reveal a particularly damaging negative thought.

AND… when we get down to it —

It’s never True.

Ever!

Are you in pain right now?

Are you suffering because of your thoughts about a person, a circumstance, or yourself?

Something you THINK someone has done to you?

Something you THINK you have done to someone else?

Or something you think you Are or Are Not?

Let’s take a look.

I am poor! (A statement – a thought -a belief – and an untrue one at that.)

Turn it into a question.

Am I really poor?

As Byron Katie would say, “Is it absolutely true?”

Ask yourself “Is it absolutely true that I am really poor?”

Now. Look at the facts.

Do you absolutely have nothing?  Are you poor in money? In Spirit?  There are many ways to be poor – socially, emotionally, poor in health, poorly educated, poor in family connections, etc.

Do you have absolutely no access to prosperity?   I doubt it very much.  I’m pretty sure you can find some way you are Not poor.

So now you see that you were telling your self a lie.

Now you see you have some things.  Yes?

You are prosperous in some ways? Yes?

Now this new thought (I have some things)  will be you’re jumping off point to a better life.

Why?  Because  your thoughts create how you feel and how you feel influences how you act and how you act causes the outcomes in your life.

When you look at the ways you are not poor then you will also see that you are in fact, not poor! And you’ve been telling yourself a lie that is actually harming you and your access to more prosperity.

It harms you because it affects other thoughts about having richness in your life AND those thoughts attract more like thoughts that harm you and you create the “poor me” syndrome. But you can shift out of that.

The point is that if you want to feel better you have to challenge your negative thinking, not only because it’s not true, but because it’s harming you.

Lets look at another one:

“I am responsible for things that happen to others?”

Turn it around.  Ask a question?

Am I responsible for things that happen to others?

Find the facts. There is actually very little that we can ‘make happen’ in other people’s lives.

Look  instead, for reasons that people are responsible for themselves.

Don’t try and steal their power.

Stop beating yourself up for what has happened to other people.

It really doesn’t help them or you.

The only thing you are truly responsible for is You.

Choose your thoughts deliberately.

Challenge the ones that harm you.

~Veronica

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Excerpts from “Soul Steps: 52 Ways to Reconnect with Spirit” May 2017 DRC Publishing

veronica.connors@nf.sympatico.ca

 

 

Time to Move the Junk

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Have you done your work?

Have you tossed your junk?

Have you cleaned your house?

Not just the old sports equipment in your basement that you never use.

Not just the pile of outdated manuals in your kitchen drawer.

But the other kind of junk…

The stuff that has a serious effect on your life and you might not even know it.

The useless thoughts you keep in your mind.

The harmful feelings you carry too long in your heart.

The detrimental habits that keep you from getting close to the people you love.

I love  January.

It’s  clean-out month.

It brings new energy.

New beginnings.

New momentum.

Do you feel the inner push?

If you do, use this momentum to clean up your inner life.

Learn to understand your emotions.

Clean up your negative thinking.

Develop practises that help you see when you’re doing things that harm your relationships.

Start doing the work that only you can do.

Start moving your junk out of your mind and out of your heart.

You’ll be so glad you did.

Life will get lighter.

Your problems will seem smaller.

Your relationships will be more loving.

Once you clean out your junk you’ll have more room for the things you really love -both inside and out.

~ Veronica

 

 

Sneak Peak from Book: Soul Steps: 52 Ways to Reconnect with Spirit

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Gifts of the Old Year and the Hope for the New

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I Love a New Year. It’s a new start, a time for renewal, and a time for new hopes and dreams.

But it’s also a time to reflect on the happenings in the year gone by.

Both good and bad or should I say “perceived good and bad.”

Let me just say that 2016 has been a tough year in many many ways, but it also has had many gifts too.

I like to ask myself these questions so that I don’t miss out on some of the hard earned gifts of the year gone by:

  1. What have I learned? What can I take away from 2016?  
  2. What new desires have been born in me because of my experiences?  
  3. What can I look forward to in the New Year? Where can I focus my hopeful energy?

1. What I learned in 2016

–I’ve learned that those with the most difficult roads are often the ones who complain the least and appreciate the most.

–I’ve learned more deeply that being a mother is my best teacher for the evolution of the soul. It pushes me to my limits of practicing  deep compassion, reaching for new wisdom, and practising detachment in a healthy way.

–I learned that I’m brave and that I can do scary things and come out better for it on the other side!

Wow- those are some pretty great gifts that 2016 has brought me!

2. What new desires have been born because of my experiences?

–I want gentleness and to embody it in my life. I want gentleness in my thoughts, words, and actions. Simple. I want to live a gentle life and have more gentle relationships.

–I want to be an even better mother and show my children that they design their own lives. Yes, things come your way that are often difficult to  deal with, but ultimately you have the freedom to choose your path in each and every moment. I want to practice choosing an even higher vibration, and an even higher energy. That’s the essence of consciousness. Knowing the choice is there to shift or not.

–I want to push my limits even further to do other things that I’ve always wanted to do.  Scary or not. I know I can do hard things:)

3. Now what can I look forward to in 2017?

On December 10th, 2016 I signed a book contract with my two lovely co-authors Florence Strang and Natalie Finlay.  So 2016 also brought the wonderful gift of a book contract for a manuscript that’s been in the making a very long time. It’s been hard work, it brought a lot of personal growth, and a lot of healing in the process.

It’s called Soul Steps: 52 Ways to Reconnect with Spirit.

I’m so grateful and I can’t wait to share it with you!

I’ll be sharing lots of excerpts from the book over the next few months while the publishing process takes place so if you want to get them sign up here:

GET SOUL STEPS EXCERPTS

So now I encourage you to ask yourself the same questions.

Don’t let the gifts of 2016 slip from your awareness without acknowledgement.

Take a moment to reflect on these questions:

What have you learned? What can you take away from 2016?

What new desires have been born in you because of your experiences?

What can you look forward to? What are your hopes and dreams for the new year?

Did you take aware some great awarenesses from 2016 -leave a comment and tell us what you learned!

Until Next Time, Veronica

Sneak Peak Soul Steps Excerpts

If you like this post please share with like-minded friends who may enjoy the reflection questions.

www.veronicaconnors.com