Did you have a Happy Valentine’s Day?

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So Valentine’s Day was yesterday.

Saint Valentine married people who were being shunned in his society. Sweet!

Many of us still celebrate his devotion to love by trying to show our loved ones how much we appreciate them on Valentine’s Day.  Not always an easy thing, right? Sometimes we get it right and some times we get it so wrong!

Now our puppy Ori – she’s pretty ease to please.  Showing her love is not very complicated.  She loves belly rubs, to run along side us when we bike, her favourite toys – lamby, hedgehog, and squirrel.  She loves frozen pb treats and digging in the snow and laying in any puddles of water she can find.  She also loves getting her picture taken.

It’s so easy to show her love because her language of love is very easy to understand.  Just look how happy she is posing for this pic.

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People can be a little more challenging to love than our pets.  Not because they are less loveable but because we humans have different languages of love.  Gary Chapman in his book The 5 Love Languages can help you figure it out.

One thing I’ve learned as a Spiritual Teacher is that our basic need is to be validated. But the tricky part is figuring out how those in your life feel validation. In other words, what are their languages of love?

Dr. Chapman’s background is in the area of anthropology and linguistics. He studied many languages and how to communicate beyond language. He realized that to communicate effectively we must learn the language of those we communicate with. After 30 years of marriage counselling, Dr. Chapman realized the same was true for marriages.  He discovered that each person had their own way of feeling loved. “Your emotional love language and the language of your spouse may be as different as Chinese from English.”  It gets a lot easier to “LOVE” your partner when you understand their love language.

There are 5 languages of Love:

Words of Affirmation

Quality Time

Receiving Gifts

Acts of Service

Physical Touch

If your partner’s language is primarily words of affirmation then compliments, hearing “I love you”, or a good ole fashioned love letter on valentine’s may please her more than the elaborate night out you plan every year.

You can take a test to find out your language of love. Better still ask your partner to take the test too.  Usually you have a combination of the five languages of love. One or two will stand out.

Seldom do partners have the same love language and we often try to give our spouse the gifts we wish we were receiving ourselves.  But perhaps it’s time to learn your partner’s secondary and maybe even primary language.   Speaking his emotional language can help bring those loving feelings to the forefront of your day, everyday, helping you create a long-lasting and satisfying relationship.

Maybe you’ll look forward to the next Valentine’s Day because you’ll know just how to show your partner how much they are loved. Maybe you’ll look forward to tomorrow because you are better equipped to create those lovable moments.

Take the Test

Happy Heart Day!

Veronica

B.Ed, M.Ed, CSLC

Spiritual Life Coach, Author, Self Mastery Teacher

www.veronicaconnors.com

veronica.connors@nf.sympatico.ca

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Creating Space for Peace

 

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Today was the last day for a 10 week meditation class with a group of truly wonderful women from the West Coast of Newfoundland.

It’s always interesting to see who comes together for a class and what each person hopes to achieve for themselves.

One thing we all have in common at the end of each class is that we learn to create more space for peace in our lives.

Space to breathe.

Space to observe.

Space to quite our inner turmoil.

Space to see we are Not the drama, we are Not the chaos, we are Not the pain, we are Not the upset, we are Not the sadness.

We are bigger than all of that.

We can learn to return to our natural state of peace when we simultaneously cognize and intuit this on a deeper level.

Ah … peace.

When you learn to create it from the inside out you know…

It’s a possibility.

It’s a probability.

And you have all the power.

Veronica

Author, Spiritual Life Coach, Teacher

www.veronicaconnors.com

email: veronica.connors@nf.sympatico.ca

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Wouldn’t It Be Nice If …

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The Beach Boy’s sang the words “Wouldn’t It Be Nice If … we were older and didn’t have to wait so long.”  Or “wouldn’t it be nice if we could live in the kind of world where we belong.”

They were on to something beautiful.

They knew how to dream and use their imagination to see their lives a little nicer.

Spiritual Teachers Abraham -Hicks use the phrase “Wouldn’t it be nice if … ” to help others reach for a better feeling place and to create something different in their lives.

I LOVE this technique for the ease of shifting the mind.

A better feeling place is where your power resides.

Have you ever gotten anywhere from feeling hopeless?

Have you ever produced what you wanted when you felt this way?

Not likely.

So instead of focusing on the hopelessness of what’s in front of you.

Dream up something better.

Every thing you see that’s good in this world was first an idea before it came into fruition.

When you focus on your ideas often enough that they start to FEEL real , then you are getting close to creating the essence of that idea.

So start here.

Wouldn’t it be nice if …

  • I ate healthier food
  • My body was stronger
  • My health was better than yesterday.
  • I could pay just one bill.
  • I could pay all my bills.
  • I had money in the bank.
  • I could share wealth with others.
  • I felt like I belonged
  • I did what was right for me.
  • My relationships were more loving.
  • I didn’t hold on to that grudge.
  • I thought happier thoughts.
  • I laughed more.
  • I added to the peace of the world.
  • My family played more games.
  • I could travel with family and friends.
  • I found the perfect job for me.
  • We all loved each other more.

Now make up your own.

Wouldn’t it be nice if …

www.veronicaconnors.com

Veronica Connors, B.Ed., M.Ed., CSLC

Spiritual Life Coach

Author, Soul Steps: 52 Ways to Reconnect with Spirit 

Self Mastery Teacher

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IS IT TRUE?

 

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Well, I’ve been thinking of the essence of this work.

Trying to capture what clients need when we’re together.

It’s almost always to reveal a particularly damaging negative thought.

AND… when we get down to it —

It’s never True.

Ever!

Are you in pain right now?

Are you suffering because of your thoughts about a person, a circumstance, or yourself?

Something you THINK someone has done to you?

Something you THINK you have done to someone else?

Or something you think you Are or Are Not?

Let’s take a look.

I am poor! (A statement – a thought -a belief – and an untrue one at that.)

Turn it into a question.

Am I really poor?

As Byron Katie would say, “Is it absolutely true?”

Ask yourself “Is it absolutely true that I am really poor?”

Now. Look at the facts.

Do you absolutely have nothing?  Are you poor in money? In Spirit?  There are many ways to be poor – socially, emotionally, poor in health, poorly educated, poor in family connections, etc.

Do you have absolutely no access to prosperity?   I doubt it very much.  I’m pretty sure you can find some way you are Not poor.

So now you see that you were telling your self a lie.

Now you see you have some things.  Yes?

You are prosperous in some ways? Yes?

Now this new thought (I have some things)  will be you’re jumping off point to a better life.

Why?  Because  your thoughts create how you feel and how you feel influences how you act and how you act causes the outcomes in your life.

When you look at the ways you are not poor then you will also see that you are in fact, not poor! And you’ve been telling yourself a lie that is actually harming you and your access to more prosperity.

It harms you because it affects other thoughts about having richness in your life AND those thoughts attract more like thoughts that harm you and you create the “poor me” syndrome. But you can shift out of that.

The point is that if you want to feel better you have to challenge your negative thinking, not only because it’s not true, but because it’s harming you.

Lets look at another one:

“I am responsible for things that happen to others?”

Turn it around.  Ask a question?

Am I responsible for things that happen to others?

Find the facts. There is actually very little that we can ‘make happen’ in other people’s lives.

Look  instead, for reasons that people are responsible for themselves.

Don’t try and steal their power.

Stop beating yourself up for what has happened to other people.

It really doesn’t help them or you.

The only thing you are truly responsible for is You.

Choose your thoughts deliberately.

Challenge the ones that harm you.

~Veronica

veronicaconnors.com

Excerpts from “Soul Steps: 52 Ways to Reconnect with Spirit” May 2017 DRC Publishing

veronica.connors@nf.sympatico.ca

 

 

Time to Move the Junk

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Have you done your work?

Have you tossed your junk?

Have you cleaned your house?

Not just the old sports equipment in your basement that you never use.

Not just the pile of outdated manuals in your kitchen drawer.

But the other kind of junk…

The stuff that has a serious effect on your life and you might not even know it.

The useless thoughts you keep in your mind.

The harmful feelings you carry too long in your heart.

The detrimental habits that keep you from getting close to the people you love.

I love  January.

It’s  clean-out month.

It brings new energy.

New beginnings.

New momentum.

Do you feel the inner push?

If you do, use this momentum to clean up your inner life.

Learn to understand your emotions.

Clean up your negative thinking.

Develop practises that help you see when you’re doing things that harm your relationships.

Start doing the work that only you can do.

Start moving your junk out of your mind and out of your heart.

You’ll be so glad you did.

Life will get lighter.

Your problems will seem smaller.

Your relationships will be more loving.

Once you clean out your junk you’ll have more room for the things you really love -both inside and out.

~ Veronica

 

 

Sneak Peak from Book: Soul Steps: 52 Ways to Reconnect with Spirit

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Gifts of the Old Year and the Hope for the New

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I Love a New Year. It’s a new start, a time for renewal, and a time for new hopes and dreams.

But it’s also a time to reflect on the happenings in the year gone by.

Both good and bad or should I say “perceived good and bad.”

Let me just say that 2016 has been a tough year in many many ways, but it also has had many gifts too.

I like to ask myself these questions so that I don’t miss out on some of the hard earned gifts of the year gone by:

  1. What have I learned? What can I take away from 2016?  
  2. What new desires have been born in me because of my experiences?  
  3. What can I look forward to in the New Year? Where can I focus my hopeful energy?

1. What I learned in 2016

–I’ve learned that those with the most difficult roads are often the ones who complain the least and appreciate the most.

–I’ve learned more deeply that being a mother is my best teacher for the evolution of the soul. It pushes me to my limits of practicing  deep compassion, reaching for new wisdom, and practising detachment in a healthy way.

–I learned that I’m brave and that I can do scary things and come out better for it on the other side!

Wow- those are some pretty great gifts that 2016 has brought me!

2. What new desires have been born because of my experiences?

–I want gentleness and to embody it in my life. I want gentleness in my thoughts, words, and actions. Simple. I want to live a gentle life and have more gentle relationships.

–I want to be an even better mother and show my children that they design their own lives. Yes, things come your way that are often difficult to  deal with, but ultimately you have the freedom to choose your path in each and every moment. I want to practice choosing an even higher vibration, and an even higher energy. That’s the essence of consciousness. Knowing the choice is there to shift or not.

–I want to push my limits even further to do other things that I’ve always wanted to do.  Scary or not. I know I can do hard things:)

3. Now what can I look forward to in 2017?

On December 10th, 2016 I signed a book contract with my two lovely co-authors Florence Strang and Natalie Finlay.  So 2016 also brought the wonderful gift of a book contract for a manuscript that’s been in the making a very long time. It’s been hard work, it brought a lot of personal growth, and a lot of healing in the process.

It’s called Soul Steps: 52 Ways to Reconnect with Spirit.

I’m so grateful and I can’t wait to share it with you!

I’ll be sharing lots of excerpts from the book over the next few months while the publishing process takes place so if you want to get them sign up here:

GET SOUL STEPS EXCERPTS

So now I encourage you to ask yourself the same questions.

Don’t let the gifts of 2016 slip from your awareness without acknowledgement.

Take a moment to reflect on these questions:

What have you learned? What can you take away from 2016?

What new desires have been born in you because of your experiences?

What can you look forward to? What are your hopes and dreams for the new year?

Did you take aware some great awarenesses from 2016 -leave a comment and tell us what you learned!

Until Next Time, Veronica

Sneak Peak Soul Steps Excerpts

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THE ALOHA SPIRIT

FullSizeRender-6 copy 3.jpgMy sister AnnMarie, recently took me to Hawaii for my 50th birthday!

Of course we had an amazing time together and many adventures – an open door helicopter ride, hiking diamond head, and swimming with the turtles.

Since I’ve been home I find myself thinking about the special quality of the people on the Island of Honolulu.

Their beautiful greeting is a significant part of what I remember.

More than a simple greeting, it’s a way of life.

It holds a sacred representation that is palpable.

ALOHA …

An expression of love

It reminds us to be in the present

To be humble

To be kind to all living things

To be truthful

To be patient

A recognition that we are part of everything – the comfortable and the uncomfortable, the joy and the pain

Aloha is life itself

Aloha is breath

What a beautiful and unique reminder of living a conscious life.

A reminder used so often every single day.

This got me to thinking about our greeting — ‘Hello’

Did you know that Hello means ‘Stop and Pay Attention’

This makes me laugh because that’s precisely an imperative awareness when getting more conscious in your life.

First STOP negative ways of thinking, feeling, and acting and then PAY ATTENTION to the present moment to connect with your spiritual side. This is the beginning of change.  Of course there are many things you can learn to help you do this but STOP and PAY ATTENTION certainly captures the essence.

I Love the synchronicity of both greetings.

So whether it’s the beautiful ‘Aloha’ greeting of the people of  Hawaii, or the familiar ‘hello’ of our own culture, remember the deeper meaning when you greet your fellow human being…

Pay attention.

Be present.

Love is what’s important.

We are all the same.

We are part of everything.

ALOHA

Veronica

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Gather Your Scattered Energy

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When you let your ego mind lead, your energy will scatter to all the little dramas in your life.

Think of it as bleeding energy to every negative thought you have, every busy moment, every physical discomfort, every argument with others.

Remember you are not your thoughts and your thoughts don’t rule you unless you let them.

The reality is that most of us let our thoughts run the show.

But we are not our minds.  We are much much bigger than our mind energy.

This energy is for our use.  We are not meant to be lead around by it.

Learn to be aware of where your energy goes and how it’s used.

Take the time to gather your inner power, pull it back into your heart space.

“Meditation is the key to your spiritual practice. If you have the right key in your hand, no matter how tightly the lock is closed, when you take the key and turn it the lock falls open, if you use your mediation key you’ll open your intuitive heart to your heart’s desires.”  AJAHN CHAH

Sit in stillness.

Breathe

Walk in nature.

Breathe

Listen to uplifting music.

Breathe

Gather your energy.

Pull it in.

It’s yours to use as you please.

It’s yours to care for as well.

Learn to open your intuitive heart to your heart’s desires.

Begin by gathering your energy.

and breathe:)

Veronica

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The “Bad” Experiences are Just as Valuable as the “Good” Experiences.

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Do you label your experiences as Good or Bad?

Your feelings as Right or Wrong?

Both are equally valuable.

Both lead you to turn in the direction of what you want and where you want to go.

Both help refine your choices.

Don’t discount those rocky roads.

Don’t abandon something because it’s “just too tough” or “not what you expected.”

The rewards, the learning, and the sense of accomplishment is on the other side of discomfort.

Rocky roads are bumpy, tedious, and sometimes super slow!

Instead of giving up or thinking “this is so hard it just can’t be right.”

Realign your thoughts.

Know that You CAN Do Hard Things.

Tell yourself.

“I CAN Do Hard Things.”

Because the truth is … you Can!

On the other side of discomfort is more confidence and a knowingness that you CAN do what needs to be done when getting where you want to go.

Don’t let discomfort turn you away from an exceptional learning experience or from exceptional outcomes.

Realign your thoughts.

Keep moving towards what you want.

Know you have the ability to get through tough situations.

Veronica

veronicaconnors.com

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To Be Grateful OR Not To Be Grateful

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A growing body of research continues to support that an attitude of gratitude has tons of benefits – it improves your relationships and helps you feel like you’re bonding better with others. It improves your emotional well being because you release those good feeling hormones in the brain when you think thoughts that feel good. It also improves your health because it has been shown to calm anxiety, help you sleep better, and decrease feelings of depression.

But gratitude is not just about keeping a journal or saying thank you. In order for gratitude to truly transform your life it’s important to:

  • Feel the gratitude in your body because it’s a practise, it involves both a mental and emotional shift.
  • Lessen the activities that are the opposite of gratitude. The practise of gratitude is not just shifting into the feeling of appreciation but also shifting out of unappreciative habits that keep you in low energy.  Habits like:
    • complaining
    • blaming
    • criticizing
    • having an irritable disposition
    • raging at other drivers
    • rushing around with your kids

If you want the benefits of gratitude you also need to look at how you’re blocking gratitude in your life.  How can you STOP the block of gratitude? It’s an important part of creating the life you want.

To truly create the positive flow of energy that gratitude brings, you may want to make this shift – consciously choose gratitude but also be consciously aware of when you’re choosing something else.

In gratitude:)

Veronica 

Spiritual Life Coach

Author

Self Mastery Teacher

veronicaconnors.com

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