Not Right or Wrong. Not Good or Bad.

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Are you afraid to change because you don’t like to feel uncomfortable when you try something different?

Do you shy away from that difficult conversation because you feel uneasy?

Or do you avoid moving to higher ground because you think your feelings are negative?

Your feelings may be uncomfortable but that doesn’t mean they’re negative.

They aren’t right or wrong.

They’re not good or bad.

They are just your feelings.

And they come with important messages.

They have gifts for you if you’re willing to see them all the way through.

Just to name a few …

Anger carries the gift of boundary defence.

Frustration brings you persistence which you need to reach your goals.

Envy motivates you to change.

Sadness marks an ending.  It’s ok to be sad when things end.

Don’t avoid these amazing feelings! They may be uncomfortable but they’re packed with positive messages that will get you positive results in your life if you don’t push them away.

Don’t chase them out, or pretend they don’t exist.

Don’t put a tub of ice cream on top of them either.

Welcome your feelings.

Learn to process them and express them in the right degree, to the right person, at the right time. ( By the way, sometimes that person is yourself.)

Let your feelings be part of your full experience.

They have gifts for you.

If you’re willing to feel them.

 

Veronica

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Veronica Connors, M.Ed., CSLC
Spiritual Life Coach
Self Mastery Teacher
Intuitive & Reiki (CRA-RP)
www.veronicaconnors.com

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Meditate to Rehabilitate

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I consider meditation a form of rehabilitation for every aspect of human suffering – painful emotions, an overactive mind, seemingly dire circumstances, an ailing body or a dampened Spirit.  When I first began to meditate I would fall asleep, a lot!  My husband started to call it sleep-i-tation.  But sometimes that’s what the body needs:)  I was a mom of three small kids and I was tired. So it made sense that I would fall asleep if I took a moment of stillness. Other than giving me more sleep, meditation has transformed my life. When I decided I would “wake up” things really started to change.  Meditation has enhanced my way of existing so that now I can move through a busy or sometimes upsetting day with a heightened awareness, clarity, and access to calmness. Have you ever seen the movie “The Matrix?” In the movie the characters experience life in slow motion at times.  With a meditative daily devotion, instead of a FAST FORWARD  button I now have access to a pause button.  And I only need to meditate 20 minutes a day to find this pause.  Because of the pause, I’ve uncovered an ability to respond to the circumstances of the day without getting overwhelmed by them.  Well sometimes I get overwhelmed, but  I can manage the overwhelm more easily. Life is always going to throw drama and undesirable circumstances your way, that’s never going to change.  Daily stillness can help manage those dramatics and help you regain your balance in the midst of turmoil.

Meditation has a physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual component that transmutes into positive changes and awareness in all these areas. Emotionally I have become more aware of my ego defences and I can avoid the mini-dramas more easily. They still happen but I don’t engage as often or even feel the desire to do so.  It allows me to see my way clear when situations get complicated.   It affords me the ability to move out of  little irritabilities more quickly. When practising on a regular basis, meditation helps me become the observer so that I become more aware of my behaviour patterns and can often circumvent emotional triggers. It quiets my mind chatter and connects me to my creative Self. Ultimately, it helps me connect to my Spirit and reminds me I am not my roles, my past, or my fears.

“And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. ” Anais Nin

Meditation Class starts next week locally in Corner Brook — learn  a form of quiet meditation that’s intrinsic to conscious living.  The class is 7 Wednesdays from 10-11 January 13th to February 24th, 2016 at the Lovely Ocean View Inn & Spa

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83 Problems are Normal, Change is to be Expected, Self Mastery is your Freedom

There’s a story about Buddha’s 84th Problem.  Have you heard it?

There’s an old farmer who went to the Buddha seeking help for his problems.  Either droughts or monsoons made his work difficult, he complained to Buddha.  What’s more, he grumbled, even though he loved his wife, there were certain things about her he wanted to change. Likewise his children – yes, he loved them, but they weren’t turning out quite the way he wanted.

” I’m sorry, but I can’t help you, ” Buddha told the farmer.

“What do you mean?” railed the farmer. ” You’re supposed to be the great One, the all wise and knowing Teacher!”

“All human beings have 83 problems,” the Buddha replied. “A few problems may go away, but soon enough others will arise.

“So, we’ll always have 83 problems?” the farmer asked indignantly, “Then what’s the good of all your teaching?”

The Buddha answered, “My teachings cannot help with your unique set of 83 problems because that’s  part of why you’e here – to experience them and grow, but perhaps my teaching can help you with your 84th problem?”

“What’s that?” asked the farmer.

“The 84th problem is that you don’t want to have any problems.”

You will always have problems.  Life is always changing.  But becoming the master of your Self and knowing that you are a spiritual being having a human experience will bring freedom to all your experiences.

Self mastered individuals learn to release their ego attachments. They learn to manage their minds, rehabilitate their emotions, and raise their personal vibration and so can you.

How happy you are is directly proportional to how tied you are to a certain outcome, situation, or the actions, comments, and thoughts of others.

How happy your are is directly proportional to how free you choose to be.

You can choose freedom. The choice comes in the thoughts you choose to think and the emotions you create based on your thoughts.

You can free yourself from perceived suffering …

One thought at a time.

One feeling at a time.

VC Inspiration

Veronica Connors, M.Ed., CSLC

veronicaconnors.com

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Green and Growing

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Have you heard of the saying that you’re either Green and Growing or Ripe and Rotting.   Doesn’t sound very good if you’re on the rotting side.  But the sentiment can help to shift perspectives that are keeping you stuck.

Are you open to the idea that you’re more than your body?  More than your mind? You are an energetic being.  The frequency your energy  emanates is your point of attraction and you are always attracting something.  Energy is never still.

Even if you continue to re-create the same situations in your life you’re not really staying still.  You’re only focusing your attention on the same thing over and over so that you create it again and again.

If you’re looking to the past and ruminating on who did what to you then you are creating the same energy in the present.  Energy grows where your focus goes.  That’s what it means to be ripe and rotting.  You’re ready for change but it seems like you’re staying the same because you give your attention to the status quo.

If you want to be  green and growing, look to where you want to go.  Catch yourself when you’re having negative thoughts about the way things are or the way things used to be.  Re-create your life by being conscious of where you put your focus.  If you want to be green and growing your attention has to be green and growing too.

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Acknowledging the Gap

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I recently watched the movie “Take this Waltz” by Sarah Polley.    Sarah Silverman plays the sister in law (Geraldine) to Michelle Willams  (Margot).

I loved, loved, loved the above scene. Geraldine is struggling with alcoholism and after celebrating her sobriety months before she loses her  status with a hard fall to the reality of the challenge.  She left her little one at home, the police are called, and she arrives home with many witnesses to her drunk driving.  She uses alcohol to fill “The Gap.”

This scene captures the essence of “The Gap.” As human beings, spiritual beings living a human existence, we feel this gap mostly on a daily basis.  It’s that  hole or ache that exists and is rarely acknowledged – the sour feeling after someone disagrees with your opinion at work, the loneliness of a young mother as she struggles with the challenges of a new baby, or the lack lustre days of marriage that inevitably are part of any long term relationship.

“The Gap” is that space that is un-fillable with activity, food, alcohol, or any of the “over” doing we turn to when we feel the ache.

Margot feels the ache in her everyday marriage and looks to find adventure with a man she met on a plane in hopes of filling the gap.

Geraldine’s take is that Margot gave up a really good marriage to a really good man in search of something that we all experience.

I love Geraldine’s acknowledgement of the gap.

What is the Gap?

In the Gap

It’s the distance between our true whole self and the things that separate us from our heart – blame, shame, guilt, judgement, depression, anxiety, procrastination etc.

When you acknowledge it, you lessen the lure to fill it with something outside yourself.

Geraldine chooses alcohol.  Aware it’s only a temporary plug all the same.

Margot chooses another man. Only soon after, she begins to feel it return.

How can you fill the gap?

Not with any of things we typically use. Alcohol, sugar, drama, working too much, being too busy, etc.

You fill the gap by first acknowledging it exists.

Then you follow it with validation and self love.

Start by asking yourself what behaviours or patterns do you participate in excessively?

Acknowledge the Gap.

VC Inspiration, Change Your Life One Thought at a Time,              

Find Relief One Feeling at a Time

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Trying to Make a Change? First be Curious in a Gentle Way.

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You want to create a change – perhaps to be a faster runner, to lose weight, or to be a kinder person.

Ever wonder why you’ve been trying to make the same change for the last 5 years?

If you put the actual ‘change’ before awareness you kind of make a statement to the world that you’re somehow wrong, bad, or broken.

This keeps you stuck in the negative mind loops of not being good enough, or smart enough, or strong enough to create what you want.

And anything your mind considers bad is something you will try and avoid, big time!

So the same habits you’re trying to change seem more resolute.  Giving you even more proof that you’re not good enough or smart enough!

Before you attempt to make a change, be curious. Let yourself gently become aware of your patterns with no judgement.

Take an inquisitive approach, and become the observer.

Be curious about the way you use energy when you run, the chocolate you eat when you’re lonely, or the way you act towards your loved ones when you’re overtired.

The simple light of consciousness, kindness, and inquisition is enough to shift the energy.

It puts your inner critic out of work.

It makes change easier because you no longer see yourself as broken.

And that’s enough to begin the process of transformation.

Now you and your mind are working together.

And…change is finally easier!

Do you know someone who’s frustrated with a change they’ve been trying to make?  Please share.

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Don’t Let Your Opinion Keep You Stuck In Pain

So are you in pain today?

Are you suffering from what’s happening in your life?

Pain comes from wanting something to be different than it is.

Are you wanting something to be different than it is?

Practise this great technique: separate fact from fiction.

The facts are the circumstances:  Your job is changing. Your bank account is low.  There’s illness in your family.

The fiction is what’s happening inside your head!

It’s your opinion ABOUT the circumstances.

Usually this opinion is not based on fact but on some pretty big fears.

Don’t let your opinion keep you stuck in pain.

Identify the facts.

Then focus on where you want to go.

Think about how you would like to feel.  How you want things to be.

The pain is optional.

If you Know of someone in your life feeling stuck in a painful opinion then please go ahead and share this post.   

If you’re in pain yourself and would like to comment on the fact or fiction in your situation please leave a “heart to heart” comment below.  I ‘d love to hear from you.

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ARE YOU RESISTING OR ALLOWING?

Resistance is holding onto things that don’t serve you.

You can be resisting your goals simply by holding onto:

  • Negative thoughts
  • Draining relationships
  • Harmful habits
  • Clutter

Allowing is clearing positive space in your life, cleaning up negative thoughts and emotions, and basically letting go of anything that keeps you stuck.

Start to allow good energy to flow by gently releasing current ‘energy drains’ in your life.

What can you let go of today?

  • Complaining about the weather, your neighbour, or your husband?
  • That toxic friend that only brings you down anyway?
  • One outfit from your closet that feels schlumpy?
  • A pile of magazines in the corner of your living room?
  • That one nasty habit you’ve been wanting to quit for years?

These are all forms of resisting and they are keeping you from what you want.

Letting go of resistance has an accumulative effect.

Consider each small act of letting go, a giant step towards allowing.

It picks up energy and builds momentum toward the good.

You don’t always need to figure out how to make your goals happen.

You just need to ALLOW them to come to you.

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Don’t Wait For Monday

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If you’ve ever started a diet or made a new commitment to do just about anything, you’re likely quite familiar with choosing the BIG day to begin.

Maybe some of these sound familiar:

  • It’s my New Years Resolution. I’ll start on January 1st.
  • I’ll wait until after the weekend.
  • It’s a 12 week program so after my vacation is a better starting time.
  • I’ll go back to school when I earn enough money.
  • I’ll start once I get ….
  • Now just isn’t the best time for me.

Excuses.

Little lies that chip away at the life you really want for yourself.

They give you permission to continue poor Self Care.

They keep you stuck in what you think is a safe place.

Today is the only important day to take care of yourself and that includes moving forward with your desires.

Don’t make a decision in November to take care of yourself in January.

Take care of yourself today.

Don’t wait for Monday

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LOOK FOR A WAY TO SOAR!

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The way you feel is your vibration.

If you want to attract something good, then you have to reach a good-feeling place.

If you want to attract something great, then you have to reach a great feeling place.

Many just look at what’s in front of them-producing a “feeling” vibration equivalent to what already exists:

daily sadness or irritability
financial debt
a poor marriage
an overweight body
recurring illness

If you want to create something different start by creating better feelings.

When you feel better your personal energetic vibration is higher and you attract other higher energy thoughts, feelings, and circumstances to you.

When you feel better you don’t need to compensate for feeling bad by over-spending, eating high caloric foods, arguing with your spouse,creating inflammation in the body because of stress etc.

Do something today that will raise your vibration:

watch funny videos on u-tube
play uplifting music
read inspirational books
dance
choose a better feeling thought
help someone out
clean out your junk draw

Consciously look for ways to let your energy Soar!
Your vibration will be uplifted.
Your life will be rewarded.

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