I recently watched the movie “Take this Waltz” by Sarah Polley. Sarah Silverman plays the sister in law (Geraldine) to Michelle Willams (Margot).
I loved, loved, loved the above scene. Geraldine is struggling with alcoholism and after celebrating her sobriety months before she loses her status with a hard fall to the reality of the challenge. She left her little one at home, the police are called, and she arrives home with many witnesses to her drunk driving. She uses alcohol to fill “The Gap.”
This scene captures the essence of “The Gap.” As human beings, spiritual beings living a human existence, we feel this gap mostly on a daily basis. It’s that hole or ache that exists and is rarely acknowledged – the sour feeling after someone disagrees with your opinion at work, the loneliness of a young mother as she struggles with the challenges of a new baby, or the lack lustre days of marriage that inevitably are part of any long term relationship.
“The Gap” is that space that is un-fillable with activity, food, alcohol, or any of the “over” doing we turn to when we feel the ache.
Margot feels the ache in her everyday marriage and looks to find adventure with a man she met on a plane in hopes of filling the gap.
Geraldine’s take is that Margot gave up a really good marriage to a really good man in search of something that we all experience.
I love Geraldine’s acknowledgement of the gap.
What is the Gap?
It’s the distance between our true whole self and the things that separate us from our heart – blame, shame, guilt, judgement, depression, anxiety, procrastination etc.
When you acknowledge it, you lessen the lure to fill it with something outside yourself.
Geraldine chooses alcohol. Aware it’s only a temporary plug all the same.
Margot chooses another man. Only soon after, she begins to feel it return.
How can you fill the gap?
Not with any of things we typically use. Alcohol, sugar, drama, working too much, being too busy, etc.
You fill the gap by first acknowledging it exists.
Then you follow it with validation and self love.
Start by asking yourself what behaviours or patterns do you participate in excessively?
Acknowledge the Gap.
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