If I loved myself I would …

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I recently had a great conversation with a group of women about Self Love.

We talked about a lot of things it is and isn’t.

It’s Not about pie in the sky, Pollyanna thinking, or spouting endless affirmations that mean nothing to you.  It’s Not about thinking you can’t love others as you grow your own self love.  It’s Not about selfishness either. Well, it kinda IS about a good kind of selfishness.

It’s more about filling yourself up in ways that work for you no matter what others think.  Protecting your emotional or physical boundaries even whet it’s uncomfortable. Learning to move into or out of relationships or situations that don’t line up with who you are on the inside, despite the fear of change.  Meeting your own emotional needs instead of asking others to do it for you.

It’s about speaking and acting from a place of peace and understanding. It’s  knowing deeply that a bit of you resides in everyone and everything on this planet. It’s the wise teaching to do unto others as you would have done unto you. Because really self love is simply about loving others too as you can’t treat others poorly and love yourself at the same time. Not possible.  

There’s more. It’s also about Loving what is in the moment because right now it can’t be anything other than it is.  Loving others in the moment because right now they can’t be anything other than what they are . Loving yourself despite your flaws and mistakes because right now you can be no different in this moment.

Essentially, self love is loving yourself into the fullest, truest version of who you are and it takes acceptance,  awareness, and inner excavation. It requires patience,  insight, and stillness. It means asking “What’s the most loving thing I can say or not say, do or not do, think or not think.”  When you ask the questions the answers will come.

This love opens potential. It creates space. It relaxes resistance.  It gives you room to breathe.

It helps you notice when you’re off tract and gives you space to recalibrate for your next step.  Sometimes that next step is to do nothing. Sometimes, it’s more inner excavation until you reach some clarity.

If you’re wondering what to do in a situation ask yourself this question:

If I loved myself I would …

or

The most loving thing to do is…

Keep coming up with answers until you reach an aha moment.

With Love

Veronica

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Join us at Our Book Launch for Soul Steps: 52 Ways to Reconnect with Spirit (Free Event- All are Welcome!)   http://gmsm.ca/shows/soul-steps-book-launch/

Like this post? I recommend for you: Self Mastery The Art of Becoming You 

Got a problem you need Help with?  Book an Appointment and bring your biggest issue that concerns you right now.  We’ll look at your thinking around it , we’ll process the emotions in a simple healing way, and we’ll work on a new higher thought pattern for   better outcomes.  Book an Appointment with Veronica

 

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Three Ways to Support Yourself

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Do you criticize yourself when  learning a new skill?

Are you guilty of picking out all the things that went wrong after a meeting, performance, lesson, or new experience?

Have you considered SUPPORTING yourself instead?

All of our children (we have three) have learned musical instruments.  All talented in their own way.  One is very relaxed about his approach.  Sees the good in every performance.  One is in the middle, did her best, maybe saw how she could have done better, but moved on pretty quickly.  The other, beat herself up for every little mistake, every note slightly off pitch, every little hiccup.  A stickler for excellence but also often sabotaged her efforts before she began.

Now she’s trading in sabotage for support.

Learning the spiritual laws of “alignment” will support the learning process and the magic that accompanies excellence.

Alignment means ‘joining up’ with the true energy of any moment.

The highest possible outcome.

The pure positive energy from which we come.

After all, every cell in your body is pure positive energy.

Lining up with that energy changes everything.

Three ways to Reinforce your Learning and Support your Efforts:

  1. Express gratitude for what you’re doing right.  After a performance or practise search out at least three things you truly appreciate about your efforts.
  2. Visualize how you want things to be. After appreciating what went right you might see things you’d like to improve.  Now take the time to visualize yourself improving those elements.
  3. Sit in stillness – meditate every day.  Basically simply sit in stillness and breathe for a few minutes every day. This one is a so big! Lining up with the  pure positive energy  that you are also lines you up with pure positive thinking, pure positive emotions, and pure positive outcomes.

 

Are you learning something new?

Begin supporting yourself.

Try the three methods above – Gratitude, Visualization, Meditation.

Let me know how it turns out!

With love,

Veronica

www.veronicaconnnors.com

LIVE A BETTER LIFE WITH SPIRITUAL TOOLS TO HELP MAKE A BETTER DAY

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Women Nurturing Women

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Tuesday Feb. 13th  a group of women came together for a yoga/meditation evening. In fact is was a group of co-workers.

Myself and two yoga teachers and friends put the session up for auction to help raise money for the high school band and a very thoughtful woman purchased the auction item for herself and her co-workers.

We had a wonderful evening.

A full hour of nurturing our bodies, mind, and soul with yoga and relaxation and then 45 minutes of meditation and spiritual conversation.

Afterwords the ladies had a spa evening at Marble Inn and the three instructors had a delicious meal at Madison’s fine dining restaurant.

Things that stood out during the evening:

Caring co-workers comes to mind.  These women really wanted to take care of themselves and each other.

Some  said it was the first time they had ever taken the time to do something like this for themselves.

We had some light moments of big belly laughter and some vulnerable moments of sharing after meditation.

THE TAKE AWAY:

Self Care is the first line of treatment for a fully lived life.

It involves nurturing your physical, mental, emotional, & spiritual self.

Women are nurturers.

Women need to be nurtured.

It starts with taking the time to nurture yourself.

With love,

Veronica

PS – We are planning another evening like this!

Includes yoga, mediation, and swim or sauna.

Maximum of 10 people

email: veronica.connors@nf.sympatico.ca

 

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Weekly VC Inspiration

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Veronica Connors

www.veronicaconnors.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Creating Space for Peace

 

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Today was the last day for a 10 week meditation class with a group of truly wonderful women from the West Coast of Newfoundland.

It’s always interesting to see who comes together for a class and what each person hopes to achieve for themselves.

One thing we all have in common at the end of each class is that we learn to create more space for peace in our lives.

Space to breathe.

Space to observe.

Space to quite our inner turmoil.

Space to see we are Not the drama, we are Not the chaos, we are Not the pain, we are Not the upset, we are Not the sadness.

We are bigger than all of that.

We can learn to return to our natural state of peace when we simultaneously cognize and intuit this on a deeper level.

Ah … peace.

When you learn to create it from the inside out you know…

It’s a possibility.

It’s a probability.

And you have all the power.

Veronica

Author, Spiritual Life Coach, Teacher

www.veronicaconnors.com

email: veronica.connors@nf.sympatico.ca

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Gather Your Scattered Energy

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When you let your ego mind lead, your energy will scatter to all the little dramas in your life.

Think of it as bleeding energy to every negative thought you have, every busy moment, every physical discomfort, every argument with others.

Remember you are not your thoughts and your thoughts don’t rule you unless you let them.

The reality is that most of us let our thoughts run the show.

But we are not our minds.  We are much much bigger than our mind energy.

This energy is for our use.  We are not meant to be lead around by it.

Learn to be aware of where your energy goes and how it’s used.

Take the time to gather your inner power, pull it back into your heart space.

“Meditation is the key to your spiritual practice. If you have the right key in your hand, no matter how tightly the lock is closed, when you take the key and turn it the lock falls open, if you use your mediation key you’ll open your intuitive heart to your heart’s desires.”  AJAHN CHAH

Sit in stillness.

Breathe

Walk in nature.

Breathe

Listen to uplifting music.

Breathe

Gather your energy.

Pull it in.

It’s yours to use as you please.

It’s yours to care for as well.

Learn to open your intuitive heart to your heart’s desires.

Begin by gathering your energy.

and breathe:)

Veronica

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Meditate to Rehabilitate

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I consider meditation a form of rehabilitation for every aspect of human suffering – painful emotions, an overactive mind, seemingly dire circumstances, an ailing body or a dampened Spirit.  When I first began to meditate I would fall asleep, a lot!  My husband started to call it sleep-i-tation.  But sometimes that’s what the body needs:)  I was a mom of three small kids and I was tired. So it made sense that I would fall asleep if I took a moment of stillness. Other than giving me more sleep, meditation has transformed my life. When I decided I would “wake up” things really started to change.  Meditation has enhanced my way of existing so that now I can move through a busy or sometimes upsetting day with a heightened awareness, clarity, and access to calmness. Have you ever seen the movie “The Matrix?” In the movie the characters experience life in slow motion at times.  With a meditative daily devotion, instead of a FAST FORWARD  button I now have access to a pause button.  And I only need to meditate 20 minutes a day to find this pause.  Because of the pause, I’ve uncovered an ability to respond to the circumstances of the day without getting overwhelmed by them.  Well sometimes I get overwhelmed, but  I can manage the overwhelm more easily. Life is always going to throw drama and undesirable circumstances your way, that’s never going to change.  Daily stillness can help manage those dramatics and help you regain your balance in the midst of turmoil.

Meditation has a physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual component that transmutes into positive changes and awareness in all these areas. Emotionally I have become more aware of my ego defences and I can avoid the mini-dramas more easily. They still happen but I don’t engage as often or even feel the desire to do so.  It allows me to see my way clear when situations get complicated.   It affords me the ability to move out of  little irritabilities more quickly. When practising on a regular basis, meditation helps me become the observer so that I become more aware of my behaviour patterns and can often circumvent emotional triggers. It quiets my mind chatter and connects me to my creative Self. Ultimately, it helps me connect to my Spirit and reminds me I am not my roles, my past, or my fears.

“And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. ” Anais Nin

Meditation Class starts next week locally in Corner Brook — learn  a form of quiet meditation that’s intrinsic to conscious living.  The class is 7 Wednesdays from 10-11 January 13th to February 24th, 2016 at the Lovely Ocean View Inn & Spa

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Observing Reveals Ordinary Unconscious Behaviour

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Everyday unconscious thinking or unconscious behaviour may not be easy to dissolve because it’s ordinary!

That’s where becoming the observer or watcher comes in.

In meditation we observe our breath, we observe ourselves getting caught up in thinking, we observe our tension in the body and we become more of the watcher.

We create space to observe more.

That’s when your ordinary unconscious behaviour becomes more available to you.

When you notice it, when you shine your light of observation on it- then change can happen. Then it gets easier.

Keep observing.

Keep meditating.

 

Veronica 

www.veronicaconnors.com

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Surrender, Relax, and Let Your Energy Help You

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Do you find yourself between a rock and a hard place? Is there something in your life that’s intolerable and just won’t seem to quit? Extra weight maybe? An illness? A troublesome relationship?

If you relax and let the tension release you’ll break the unconscious pattering that keeps the rope taut and you on edge because things aren’t changing.

Our Golden Retriever, Ori, has a line that runs across our yard. Sometimes it sticks a little and she’s at the end of her rope trying to get to the door but it won’t budge. She’s learned that instead of pulling and continuing in the same useless direction, all she has to do is relax and the rope does too!

That’s all you need to do too. When you relax and surrender to the struggle, the struggle begins to lift. Think of relaxing a muscle, when you tense a muscle it hurts more, it aches, it goes into spasm. When you relax, the pain subsides, the tensions disappears, and a new energy starts to flow.

Surrender releases your grip on desperate action. Continue to act and move towards your goals. But now, you have energy flow on your side. Your action will be inspired action. Your energy flow will be fluid.

In this new state you can clearly see what needs to be done and you can do it with ease and a lighter outlook. The results will come more easily too.

Let the line go slack. Enjoy your new flow. Take inspired action.

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Why Meditate?

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Meditation isn’t about stopping your thoughts.

Your mind’s job is to think so let’s not mess with that!

Thinking is good , right? You need it for problem solving,  analysis,  processing, reasoning, etc.

It’s also not so good (at times)  —like when you retell damaging stories from the past or worry about the future, both keep you from enjoying your present and both re-create more negative energy in your life.

Stopping the mind is not a realistic or functional goal. Thoughts are going to continue!

But perhaps finding the space between your thoughts, connecting to the greater consciousness, and residing with your Spirit is more attainable.

You actually don’t need to stop your thoughts to achieve this goal.

When you make the space for meditation on a daily basis you create an opportunity to carry that same space into your daily life.

Space from time constraints

Space from drama

Space from worry

Space for clarity

Space to welcome creative flow

Space to breathe

Space for Spirit to expand and… ego to relax.

Why Meditate?  Because as sentient beings you crave a space not connected to mental awareness but rather a ‘feeling’ perception.

In order to transcend the mind, you need to expand ‘heart’ consciousness.

Begin by creating a space to be still, meditate, and connect to your sentient nature every day.

With each breathe you can expand the space between your thoughts and connect more deeply to your heart energy.

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Find Peace in 2013

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I know so many women who want more peace and are craving it.

Me too!

Creating moments of peace is  definitely a possibility for the new year.

But it comes with a caveat.

It requires the discipline to actually set aside time to be still.

Catch 22?

At first, I wanted more peace but I didn’t want to be still long enough to get it.  Sound familiar?

But  through curiosity or maybe necessity, I made the choice to sit still for 5-10 minutes a day.

Making time to breathe.

Just like activity begets more activity.

Stillness begets stillness.

Peace begets peace.

Once you make the space for stillness the discipline will open the doors for spiritual maturation.

Awareness, sanity, wisdom, compassion, and …. more moments of peace will follow.

Cheers to more peace in the new year!

Veronica

www.veronicaconnors.ca