The “Bad” Experiences are Just as Valuable as the “Good” Experiences.


Do you label your experiences as Good or Bad?

Your feelings as Right or Wrong?

Both are equally valuable.

Both lead you to turn in the direction of what you want and where you want to go.

Both help refine your choices.

Don’t discount those rocky roads.

Don’t abandon something because it’s “just too tough” or “not what you expected.”

The rewards, the learning, and the sense of accomplishment is on the other side of discomfort.

Rocky roads are bumpy, tedious, and sometimes super slow!

Instead of giving up or thinking “this is so hard it just can’t be right.”

Realign your thoughts.

Know that You CAN Do Hard Things.

Tell yourself.

“I CAN Do Hard Things.”

Because the truth is … you Can!

On the other side of discomfort is more confidence and a knowingness that you CAN do what needs to be done when getting where you want to go.

Don’t let discomfort turn you away from an exceptional learning experience or from exceptional outcomes.

Realign your thoughts.

Keep moving towards what you want.

Know you have the ability to get through tough situations.


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Acknowledging the Gap

take this waltz

I recently watched the movie “Take this Waltz” by Sarah Polley.    Sarah Silverman plays the sister in law (Geraldine) to Michelle Willams  (Margot).

I loved, loved, loved the above scene. Geraldine is struggling with alcoholism and after celebrating her sobriety months before she loses her  status with a hard fall to the reality of the challenge.  She left her little one at home, the police are called, and she arrives home with many witnesses to her drunk driving.  She uses alcohol to fill “The Gap.”

This scene captures the essence of “The Gap.” As human beings, spiritual beings living a human existence, we feel this gap mostly on a daily basis.  It’s that  hole or ache that exists and is rarely acknowledged – the sour feeling after someone disagrees with your opinion at work, the loneliness of a young mother as she struggles with the challenges of a new baby, or the lack lustre days of marriage that inevitably are part of any long term relationship.

“The Gap” is that space that is un-fillable with activity, food, alcohol, or any of the “over” doing we turn to when we feel the ache.

Margot feels the ache in her everyday marriage and looks to find adventure with a man she met on a plane in hopes of filling the gap.

Geraldine’s take is that Margot gave up a really good marriage to a really good man in search of something that we all experience.

I love Geraldine’s acknowledgement of the gap.

What is the Gap?

In the Gap

It’s the distance between our true whole self and the things that separate us from our heart – blame, shame, guilt, judgement, depression, anxiety, procrastination etc.

When you acknowledge it, you lessen the lure to fill it with something outside yourself.

Geraldine chooses alcohol.  Aware it’s only a temporary plug all the same.

Margot chooses another man. Only soon after, she begins to feel it return.

How can you fill the gap?

Not with any of things we typically use. Alcohol, sugar, drama, working too much, being too busy, etc.

You fill the gap by first acknowledging it exists.

Then you follow it with validation and self love.

Start by asking yourself what behaviours or patterns do you participate in excessively?

Acknowledge the Gap.

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Find Relief One Feeling at a Time

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Don’t Let Your Opinion Keep You Stuck In Pain

So are you in pain today?

Are you suffering from what’s happening in your life?

Pain comes from wanting something to be different than it is.

Are you wanting something to be different than it is?

Practise this great technique: separate fact from fiction.

The facts are the circumstances:  Your job is changing. Your bank account is low.  There’s illness in your family.

The fiction is what’s happening inside your head!

It’s your opinion ABOUT the circumstances.

Usually this opinion is not based on fact but on some pretty big fears.

Don’t let your opinion keep you stuck in pain.

Identify the facts.

Then focus on where you want to go.

Think about how you would like to feel.  How you want things to be.

The pain is optional.

If you Know of someone in your life feeling stuck in a painful opinion then please go ahead and share this post.   

If you’re in pain yourself and would like to comment on the fact or fiction in your situation please leave a “heart to heart” comment below.  I ‘d love to hear from you.


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